I stopped him with my bewildered eyes, leaned closer and sniffed his odour ever so lightly. "Did you smoke?" I asked, suprised. He smiled shyly and said plainly "Yes." Uncertain whether or not he was joking I kept interrogating him, confused as in why he'd start smoking with a baby on the way, and figured he must me pulling my leg. "Come, I'll tell you," he said and coaxed me to follow.

 

We sat down in a seperate room and in my mind I was screaming: "Please don't let it be permament illness. Please don't let it be death." He told me his father had been severely assaulted by a family-member. The story is long and intricate, but his father survived, although barely. We discussed about anger, revenge and forgiveness. It is strange to see him worked up like that. He is a religious man, the devoted kind, usually composed and well-mannered. In a million years, I could not imagine him seeking revenge. But you never know how unfortunate events can twist a person. 

 

We discussed God, and I said I believed forgiveness is the greatest achievement we can strive for in His image. The key to forgiveness is understanding, and the beginning of understanding starts with dissevering emotion from logic. To consider the origin of an incident, accepting the occurance, and learning how to cope and grow from it. To gain wisdom to see that no matter what we choose to do as a reaction to this incident, it remains irreversible. What is done is done - even if we achieve revenge or justice. The damage will sustain. Cherrish the fact that he still sees another day. That is a blessing.

 

He understood, but could still not shake off the anger. In time, I am certain he will.

 

He apologised for burdening me with such darkness, and thanked me. He said, "I just felt I needed to unload and I know you'd listen". There it is again. Unbesought confidence in me. We may be colleagues, but only the most superficial kind. We were always civil with one another and push each other for the better, but never really shared anything deep. I felt glad and honoured. "Thank you for sharing this with me", I said.